Tag Archives: Weird Work

FSA exclusive interview, and multimeter Bench Test

An exclusive interview for you today, with Stefan Hay and Steve Kimber of the UK’s Fire and Security Association. SMT Online editor Brian Sims spoke to the new kids on the trade association block at their headquarters in London.

And we’ve got a Bench Test of a multimeter from ACT Meters that looks like it could be quite useful for the installation fraternity. It’s review-tastic.

For end-users, and the end-user curious, we have the provocatively titled CCTV: the ‘cure-all’ or total con? I’d be inclined to suggest that maybe – just maybe – the answer to this question lies somewhere in the middle ground. Hmm. Hmm!

I know almost every single person reading this email will quite often feel empty and confused at the end of a month, a sense of mild despair preventing them from carrying out even the most menial of tasks. This certainly happens to me, leaving me sad and frustrated. But now, happily, there’s a cure for this hideous ailment, in the form of the best read stories on info4security in the month of November, 2008. It will restore your pep and zest!

As will a read-through and contribution to the Weird Work section of much-loved and respected security jobs site Jobs for Security. That’s some good employment. The flag is well and truly up the mast on that one.

Well, lookee here: info4security.com and www.ifsec.co.uk.

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The security week: An arrested Tory, retail challenges, and Johnny Cash

News excitement galore on info4security this week. Brian Sims, editor of SMT Online, gets totally topical with his take on the Tories’ Damian Green being arrested by counter-terrorism officers. Forthright!

And in the week when Woolworths and MFI went to the wall, we’ve got an in-depth piece about the challenges ahead for retail security in a period of economic turmoil.

There were contrasting responses to the aforementioned turmoil – Dedicated Micros has rationalised its EMEA operations, while Kings Security has invested £3m in a new HQ and alarm receiving centre, and Solutions Security, a new UK CCTV distributor, has opened for business. Intriguing!

Security Installer editor Alan Hyder faced up to this week’s (metaphorical) issues inferno, and connecting his opinion nozzle to the firetruck of facts, he liberally doused the blaze with great gushing streams of analysis. In less confusing terms, he wrote his SI Editor’s View. It’s a great read!

Friday. Songs About Security. They go hand in hand, like Michael Jackson and an ape. Today it’s the turn of Johnny Cash. There’s also a chart-busting top ten.

Have you ever wanted to be a Higher Executive Officer Head of Security for the DVLA? I know I have. Well, now both you and I have the perfect opportunity to make this dream become a reality, as this is the Job of the Week on Jobs for Security. Fortuitous!

Another great thing on Jobs for Security is the Weird Work section. Read – then contribute!

If you, like me, despise the notion of building and/or perimeter penetration, you should get along to Impenetrable Buildings and Perimeters, where you will meet plenty of like-minded souls. Keep buildings and perimeters pure, that’s what I say.

Also, riverdancing chimps.

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Protecting Christmas and weathering the storm

Identity thieves are a despicable bunch at the best of times – even at the annual Identity Thieves Ball and Charity Casino In Aid of Sick or Starving Children – but at Christmas time, well, they are absolutely reprehensible. Imagine waking up on Christmas morning to find your identity has been stolen. You don’t know who you are. No one does. And then you see yourself walk past your own window. That’s a fairly extreme and surreal example of identity theft – but online shopping could still pose a threat this festive season. Read all about how it could go down.

Security Installer commander-in-chief Alan Hyder has done the noble thing today, sticking his metaphorical opinion-thumb in the issues-dyke, preventing soggy issues from dampening and drowning the news agenda. If you found this sentence confusing and possibly misguided, rest assured: the SI Editor’s View is neither. It’s very interesting!

And it’s always nice to be able to use the word ‘holistic’, particularly when it doesn’t apply to medicine or therapies. It fits pleasantly in the headline to this story, which is about SGW Security Consulting and Griffin Security Group.

Hey! Do you have an interesting story about some ridiculous thing that you have done or has happened to you in the course of your working life? Send it in to Weird Work, part of the universally applauded security jobs website Jobs for Security.

Then go and register for the Impenetrable Buildings and Perimeters conference. It’s one of the little things that makes life worth living.

Also make a pilgrimage to ifsec.co.uk and info4security.com. They are good.

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Siemens wind power and a training partnership

Today we celebrate the power of wind, with the news that Siemens has provided a wind turbine firm with a comprehensive integrated security system. That’s one way to secure the future of the environment! Seriously, it will help.

Partnerships are wonderful, life enriching experiences, particularly if they do not end in a long, messy, bitter, drawn out divorce that alienates not just the parties involved, but their family and close associates. One new partnership that looks to have a far more positive future than the one outlined in the sentence before is that of Shield Guarding Company and WSG Associates, who are doing some training qualification things together. Nice!

Do you often wish that your IP CCTV offered more ROI? Well, a report on a system installed by AC (Axis Communications) suggests TTMVWBTC (that this might very well be the case). Read for yourself and assess. Why not?

You may well be aware of the Weird Work section of the Jobs for Security website that I have been banging on about recently. You will be as pleased as I am, then, that I have received an actual contribution! Thanks, Gerry. You’re a star.

Do you know how I quite often mention the interesting and informative conference Impenetrable Buildings and Perimeters? I do it exactly like this. It’s in Birmingham!

Also, get your website visiting thang on at info4security.com and ifsec.co.uk. Yowsa!

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The security week: Woolworths, The Smiths, answers and retirement

In the security headlines this week was a thieving so-and-so convicted for one of the worst offences imaginable – crimes against Woolworths – with evidence from SmartWater. The only positive for the crim was the ravetastic nature of his trainers, as seen in the pictures accompanying the story. Techno!

As a direct consequence, this week’s Song About Security is The Smiths’ Shoplifters of the World Unite. It’s a classic.

We also had a couple of question and answer features – Sanyo’s David Markland gave us the rundown on High Definition CCTV, and our Access Doctor, Adam Stroud, discussed integrated access systems.

It was also the week we ran the final Last Orders column. That’s right, after several years of minimal work and passive-aggressive one-upmanship, installation sector guru Orson Carte is hanging up his pen. He’ll be missed.

One way to get over his departure is by attending the Impenetrable Buildings and Perimeters conference, which is sure to be full of not only valuable insights, but also amusing japes and witty banter. And refreshments.

Our Job of the Week on Jobs for Security is a top-notch opportunity to venture into the wilds of Essex as a sales manager for a major installation firm. Don’t let this one pass you by! You will regret it! For the rest of your life! Probably.

And as you can see by the overwhelming number of new and hilarious entries to the Jobs for Security Weird Work section, this new feature has proven to be, possibly, the single most popular new feature on all of the world wide web. Join in!

Then watch this video of a monkey doing sit-ups while a dog sits on his legs. It’s Japanamazing! The dog is very lazy.

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A show of strength and a fraud award

Sheer unadulterated security excitement today, with Professor Howard “About” Schmidt of the ISF urging companies and organisations to strengthen their security during this time of “economic uncertainty”. Good going, Prof!

Also appearing in the headlines today is the heartwarming and enriching tale of the little bank-funded police unit that could – if only they truly believed in themselves. Or something. That’s right – it’s the Dedicated Cheque and Plastic Crime Unit! They walked away with the coveted 2008 European Investigation Unit of the Year award. Nice work!

And Axis Communications is doing very well for itself – a new report reckons it has increased its network camera market share. That’s pretty decent, especially with these times of “economic uncertainty” currently descending upon us like a particularly threatening and money hungry duvet or some other more appropriate simile!

You know that Weird Work section on excellent security jobs website Jobs for Security? No? Yes? If not and if so, you should look at it again and then send in your crazy and zany working tales. Crazy!

Also, make sure you go to the conference Impenetrable Buildings and Perimeters. It’s easier to “get into” than it sounds! Ha ha ha! (Because it is a conference and not actually held in an impenetrable fortress or something.)

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Police nightclubs and rogue companies

Well well well. Today’s exciting story with a picture featuring a luminescent shoe is about a man who stole from a Woolworths store and was convicted using SmartWater forensic DNA evidence. It’s very interesting. But the accompanying imagery also leads me to think that police may be able to catch criminals by inviting suspects to large nightclubs fitted with special lights, where the thieves and vagabonds could dance the night away, unaware that their next evening out could be a date with the electric chair! (Or, more likely, some kind of holding cell.) Let’s hope the good people at SmartWater develop this concept, and quickly.

Also happening is the ongoing campaign in Strathclyde, where the SIA, local police and others have looked into rogue security companies, with officers charged with licensing breaches, immigration offences, and working while claiming benefits. I am unsure if any one officer was able to claim the hat trick.

And staying north of the border (that’s the border between Scotland and England, in this particular case), SCS Security Design have gone ahead and got themselves NACOSS Gold accredited. Classy!

Two things of absolutely vital importance. Number one: get involved with the conference Impenetrable Buildings and Perimeters, the number one conference about impenetrable buildings and perimeters.

Number two: submit your Weird Work story to the Weird Work stories section on jobs site Jobs for Security. Like a beautiful flower, this project will only grow through your fertilisation. Hurrah!

Here’s the thing: visit info4security.com and ifsec.co.uk and jobsforsecurity.com and we’ll keep our little secret between us, shall we?


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High def and access questions and answers

First of all, apologies for the lack of missive yesterday. That was entirely my fault, having succumbed like a small, weak child to some powerful, all-conquering early winter virus.

But we’re back, baby, and today we feature not only questions, but some answers to those questions also. We’ve got it all! First up is David Markland of Sanyo – a company currently in discussion with Panasonic regarding some kind of merger/alliance – who fills us in on High Definition CCTV. The timing is immaculate, what with Sanyo’s recent launch of its own HD camera.

There’s also access advice from the Access Control Doctor with the delightful bedside manner, Adam Stroud of Paxton. Today he’s scrawling illegible doctorly notes about integrating with intruder and fire systems.

Then there’s the SIA unveiling some key performance statistics, as well as celebrating a year of Scottish regulation; and industry analyst Plimsoll, which has published a guide for guarding companies in these troubled financial times.

We’ve got the winner of the 2008 Global Security Challenge as well. Click on that thing just there and find out who it was. Go on. It’ll be fun.

Sadly, Security Installer columnist and installation sector legend Orson Carte has filed his last piece for the magazine, and for I4S. Read his final Last Orders column, and look back through the archives to relive some of your favourite moments…

Then to perk yourself up, visit the Weird Work section of the Jobs for Security website. It’s somewhat amusing! And we’d love to hear your stories of strange work-based incidents and happenings. Get involved!

It’s always a nice idea to visit ifsec.co.uk and info4security.com, particularly as they pay my wages.

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The security week: Securiplan fined, future CCTV, and Weird Work

A big ol’ week of news on info4security, kicked off with the announcement of Securiplan being fined for 19 counts of employing unlicensed officers, and ordered to pay the SIA’s legal costs. Dr Bernard Herdan has also been named interim SIA chief, following Mike Wilson’s sudden departure.

We also featured reports from the Next Generation CCTV conference. These included a look at video analytics by Patrick Meaney, and discussion of the Onvif group by Sony’s Simon Nash. Interesting! Also interesting will be upcoming conferences The Threat Within (next week!) and Impenetrable Buildings and Perimeters (slightly later!)

Let me tell you this: Videoswitch has gone shopping and bought Quick CCTV. And G4Tec has partnered with Imprivata. Synergy!

Security Installer head honcho Alan Hyder has left an opinion-deposit all over the web in the form of his SI Editor’s View. It features valuable information about two intriguing subjects: booze and movies. Also, other topics are covered.

It’s Songs About Security day, so it must be Friday. I’m sorry to report that today’s offering comes from the abysmal Hard-Fi. Enjoy!

Finally, here is some important and exciting news. Excellent security jobs site Jobs for Security has not only provided us with a Featured Job – this time, it’s the coveted chance to be an Assistant Facilities Manager with delightful Essex County Council – they’ve gone ahead and allowed me to launch a new and potentially amusing section of the site.

It’s called Weird Work, and it’s your chance to let us know about the stranger or more unusual things you’ve been asked to do in the course of your working life. I’ve kicked it off with a bit about my encounter with an Icelandic halibut, and Jobs for Security advertising manager Jo Lancaster has contributed a tale of delivery misadventure. I’d love to make it the number one resource for ridiculous work-related stories, but that can only happen with your help. Read what we have to say, and then send your stories to webeditor@info4security.com.

You can remain anonymous if your story is hilariously humiliating. That’s a personal promise. Humiliation!

Visit info4security and ifsec.co.uk. And that Weird Work site I just mentioned. Go on.

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